Here it is!

So, here it is:



This is my hair after it was cut, I had not played with it yet.
I absolutely love it!
I really think it is going to be easy to take care of and not much work.

My tresses are a mess!

I hate my hair.

It is long, to the point of unmanageability (sp?) and frizziness! It needs to be cut. But, here's the thing it has always been long. I need a change, I need something that is easy and will not take work to maintain.

So, this is what my hair basically looks like except my bangs are long and not so pretty. I actually have naturally wavy and curly hair but because it is long, it heavy and the curl does not come out.





I have narrowed it down to five choices, which do you like?







I am torn towards my hair from a couple years ago, Reese Witherspoon's hair and Jenna Elfman's hair. I also really like Nicole Ritchie's hair. I just don't know, maybe I should bring all four of the pictures to my hairdresser and we can brainstorm?

So, leave me a comment and let me know which you like and I will post my hair after my appointment on Saturday.

Yeah.......

It's been awhile, I know it's been awhile. I have just been going through many things and many emotions and I am the kind of person that keeps things in and besides who wants to read about someone bitching and moaning. Lately, my life is one big bitch and moan, the bad days seems to outweigh the good days.

I have tried reaching out to friends, but they are not reaching back which makes things worse for me. I guess I will just have to move on without them, which saddens me, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

I take too much medicine!

So. as I was trying to fall asleep last night. I was thinking about how my sleeping pill was not working, its weird, one night it works great and I fall asleep immediately and another night it still takes me almost an hour to fall asleep.

I realized I take alot of medicine.

In the morning, I take 6 pills, 8 pills if I have a headache. At night, I take 12 more pills. In total, I take 18 - 20 pills. That is crazy! And I am still walking funny, my balance is still off, I am shaking, my hands hurt, I have headaches, still in pain and if I don't take my medicine I would be 10 times worse!

I am just tired of taking pills. Why can't they just cure me? Is that too much to ask?

A new haircut?

I have struggled with my hair for years.

I have curly/wavy hair. I think that one of the reasons why I have struggled with my hair is because I have tried to make it something it isn't. I try to make it straight, when obviously it isn't. The one time that I struggle most with it is during the summer. The humidity and the heat hit it and poof, frizziness! I hate it!

But this year, I am going to a mew hairdresser, she specializes in Curly hair. And also, I have a new haircut I would like to try.

This is it:


What do you think? Obviously, I won't have it straight, but it looks like it has alot of layers and frame the face. And I am loving the bangs! I love the color too, but I don't think I could pull off something so light eventhough I love the red!

Foods I am Craving...

I am from Chicago and I so miss the food. St. Louis does not have any of these foods and I am so craving them.

1. Pierogis
2. Klotchkis (not sure that is the right way to spell it)
3. Giordanos Deep Dish Pizza
4. Portillos

Anyone from Chicago wanna send me one of these foods?

Could it get much worse?

Apparently, it can.

I am used to all the walking and balance problems that have come with my condition. I am used to falling on the floor and all the bruises, running into the wall. The vision problems, the slurred speech and all the medications. I thought I had experienced it all, apparently not.

About a week ago, my hands just stopped working right. I tried to organize some papers and couldn't even hold them and shuffle them. And this past weekend I couldn't even hold a spoon or a fork or even a burger without pain. Today, I can't even make a fist it is so painful. I told a friend of mine my hands feel like painful swelled sausages and they do! I called my nuerologist, I hope he prescribes me something so I can get some relief! But I suspect this is just the beginning of the fun!

Migraines Suck!

I have been dealing with migraines since I was 15. I hate them. They make me nauseous, I need to/can only lie in bed all day, the room has to be dark, no light (too sensitive) and no sound.

I am taking two different medications for prevention, which totals six pills a night, and yet I still get them. I had my third one this week. The first two I think totally had to do with the weather, it was rainy and humid. I get them with the change in the pressure. But why I got one today I have no idea!

But thank God, I had my trusty friend Excedrin. It is a friggin lifesaver! Although, my neurologist doesn't like me taking it all that often, I think it's because of the caffeine.

Like, I said I am on prevention medications, but it doesn't always work. When I do get them, besides Excedrin I don't know how else to get rid of them. What do you do?

Am I really 32?

Do you ever not feel your age? I have not felt my age for awhile now. I am 32, but don't feel like it. I admit that my condition does make me feel old most days. How could you not feel old when you have no energy to get out of bed and your joints ache so bad when you bend them. But there's time when I just feel young, I can't really explain why, but I just do.

I think it has to do with the fact that some of my friends are younger than me (okay pretty much all of them) and they have at least one kid if not two already and they are so much smarter than me.

I feel like I am 27. If I was 27, I would still be living in Chicago and just meeting Sven, that was such an exciting time!

Oops, I did it again.

After getting into bed last night and pulling the covers up, I rolled out of bed and onto the floor.

I couldn't get back up becauce every muscle in my body was relaxed, so Sven had to get to get out of bed and pick me up and put me back in bed. And to ensure that I did not fall again he literally tucked the sheets into the bed, I was going nowhere and I didn't.

Wonder what I will do tonight. Let's see, I have rolled out of bed twice, triped once and legs gave out another. Boy, I am reall making Sven laugh!

GO CUBS GO!

Just have to say GO CUBS!

My third Entry

Check out the giveaway on my friend Trisha's blog. Her photography is awesome! She has taken mine and Sven's anniversary pictures.

Wurstfest

I can't believe I forgot to tell you about Wurstfest.

What is Wurstfest you ask. It is Sausage fest in Hermann, MO the last week of March. Sven and I have been going for the last years, the last two years, my parents and my sister have joined us. We have so much fun when we go. It is ten different vendors with 100 different kinds of sausage and bratwurst. And it only costs $6 for all you can eat sausage!

Our freezer is packed with sausage, thank god it is getting warmer and we can start grilling!

They already have their 2010 and 2011 dates set!

I said what?

So, I told you a little while ago that I started taking a sleeping pill. Since starting taking I have been sleeping like a rock. I mean as soon as my head hits the pillow, I have no idea what is going on, I remember nothing!

So, every morning I ask Sven if I did anything during the night. I guess I do this because I have heard that Ambien makes people sleepwalk, sleepeat, sleepdrive, and other strange things. Maybe I also ask for my own amusement. Well, the the other night, I took my Ambien and Sven walked me to bed, he had to stay up a little longer to do some work. So, I was in bed with the TV on falling asleep and Sven walked in, I remember him walking in, but that's all I remember. And in the morning, I asked if I did anything weird and he said yes.

Apparently, when he came in for bed I called him "Mom".

Um, I have nothing to say to that except for "I'm Sorry". At least he is getting some laughter out of this.

Happy Birthday Rean!

It is my baby's birthday. Not Sven, but Rean, my kitty cat, my baby girl. Sven and I found her on Petfinder.com and we knew instantly she was the one for us.

Sven brought her home (to my apartment in Chicago) in 2003. She was so tiny when Sven brang her home, we could feel her ribs when we pet her. My mission was to put some weight on her, I did do that, she weighs a whopping 7 pds. now!

Because she was from a rescue we are not totally sure how old she is. We got her in 2oo3, took her to the vet and he said she could be anywhere from 2 to 4 years old, so looking at her we said she is 3 years old. So, we are assuming she was born in 2000 and today she is 9 years old.

I can't believe it. I can't believe how much I love this cat. She kept me company in Chicago when Sven was in St. Louis. She comforts me when I am sick, makes me laugh when I have a bad day.

And to see who I am talking about, here are pictures of Rean:






Happy Birthday Rean!

It is getting warm and I am sad.

As the weather gets warmer I see more and more people out and about and that should make me happy, but it actually makes me sad.

I see couples or just people alone on their two wheel bike and realize I can't do that. I haven't riden a bike since I was probably 14 years old. I so desperately want to ride a bike, I just don't have the balance to ride a bike, I need to ride a three wheel bike. That's fine with me. But have you ever tried to find one? They are impossible to find and if you find the right one you want, expect to pay an arm and a leg.

One night after dinner I would love to go for a walk around the neighborhood with Sven, how nice would that be. For most, yes it would, for me, can't do it. Even holding onto Sven's hand, I pull on his arm, veer off to the side and trip all while tireing myself out, same thing with my walker.

And running, I would love to just run. But alas my coordination is gone. If I were to run now I would just trip and fall and most would point and laugh.

So I should be happy, and I am. Happy that it is starting to get warm and sunny and I can wear my capris and sandals, but sad that I can't be like everyone else, that's all that I want.

I sleep now!

I have been dealing with insomnia for years. It comes in bouts. Many years years ago when I was in high school I took Ambien and loved it! Then I went off it, don't know why prolly cause I took myself off all my medications after college.

Fast forward to me planning our wedding. Me living in St. Louis and the wedding in Chicago. All of my vendors were in Chicago, family in Chicago, I was so stressed and on top of that I was not sleeping! I went to my doctor as fast as I could and got a prescription for a sleeping pill, I got Lunesta. I was sleeping. And after the honeymoon, my sleeping went back to normal and things were right with the world for awhile. Then my insomnia started in again, I would just lie in bed, I cried myself to sleep, nothing worked. I went to my doctor and got a prescription for Lunesta, I mean it worked so beautifully before. I took it, nothing. It would take me two, three hours with the medication to fall asleep. I just stopped it and my sleepin somehow went back to normal.

But then, Wednesday night, it took me FIVE HOURS to fall asleep. That was the last straw. I called my nuerologist, told him what happened and I got a prescription for Ambien. Now, I have only taken it for two nights, but for the first time in YEARS, I slept through the night. It feels so good to get some sleep.

Funny story:
On Wednesday, when I took the Ambien (it is fast acting) I was sitting on the couch. Sven had to walk me to bed cause I was out of it. I was in the bedroom on my side of the bed, taking off my rings and watch and when I was in bed I had to reach to get something. Because I wasn't quite all there I rolled off the bed onto the floor and I couldn't get up! Sven had to come get me just laughing the whole time!

I was alerted to this by someone in one of the Ataxia groups I am in. I think I need it:






If I get one and wear it then maybe people will stop asking me if I am drunk!

I picked.....

It was $24.99 with shipping and tax, not bad! It came the other day and as soon as I took it out of the box I fell in love with it. I put it on and it was HUGE! I have small wrists. I got it fitted today and they had to take 4 links out, I told you I had small wrists, hehe.

Now, that it is fitted it is perfect. I love it! The face is not quite round and not quite square it is inbetween and the black dial really makes the numbers stand out and the numbers are almost like a comic script, it is great!

Overstock is my new go to store for accesories. Ecspcially, since they are a Ebates (I am rebecca on there so if you sign up let them know I referred you.) store

Help me Decide!

Overstock is having a sale on their watches and there are two that I like, not sure which to choose, which do you like?

I like the black face of this watch, the numbers show up really well and it would look great on my wrist being the thinner bracelet.




I like the brown face, it is different and again the numbers show up really and it reminds me of a watch that DH gave me when we were still dating but don't have anymore.






So, which do I choose?

Doctor's Appointment Recap

I had my appointment yesterday. It went well. My doctor is great, she is young, smart and knows her stuff!

I didn't get any new answers, which I really didn't think I would, but was hoping for. She told me and said some things that I have not heard before from a doctor and it really put my mind at ease.

My condition is progressing slowly, so I am not going to have to worry about being in a wheelchair or have a feeding tube or going to an early grave. I will be around to enjoy life, enjoy my kids and enjoy St. Louis and Chicago.

And the probability of me passing it on (which I am so worried about) is not too likely. She did not give us specifics, but I think we will be consulting her when and if we start trying. She is a mother also, so she understands. And also she let us know that the hospital has services to help me with the baby before and after.

So all in all, no new answers, but really she put my mind at ease and for right now that means everything to me. I think this was the first time I left a doctor's appointment feeling happy and hopeful.

Today is the day!

I have my appointment today at the WashU Movement Disorder Center.

I am excited, but at the same time nervous. I have never been so nervous. I don't know why I am so nervous, this should be old hat for me, but I guess this doctor is new to me so maybe that is what is causing the butterflies.

I am hoping to get some answers, I mean I deserve some answers, Sven deserves answers, my mom deserves answers, my family deserves answers. But I have gone 17 years with no answers so really I am not expecting anything. And as Sven said I may never get any answers and he may be right, I hope he isn't, I mean they are finding new things everyday!

What if I have an unknown disease and they name it after me? I could have the Rebecca Condition or the Jarrell Disease, how cool would that be?

Menu Planning Monday

We are still cleaning out the fridge and pantry. We have things in our pantry we never knew we have. Everytime Schucks has their 10 for $10 sale like they did last week I stock up!

But tonight we are making a recipe we haven't in awhile, I am excited, it is in the Crockpot of course :)

Cheesy Crockpot Chicken (7.5 PTS)

2 lbs. boneless skinless chicken breasts

2 Cans 98% fat-free cream of chicken soup

1 can cheddar cheese soup

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder (I omitted it because one of the chicken soups had herbs in it already)

Cut chicken into bite size pieces (I didn't do this, I kept them whole and Sven will shred it when it is done cooking). Put chicken in the bottom of the crockpot. Add rest of ingredients on top. Cook 8 hours on low. Serve over rice or noodles. (Points include rice)

Per Serving: 328 Calories; 8g Fat; 55g Protein; 5g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 146mg

Cholesterol; 631mg Sodium.

I can't wait for dinner!

I am going to Hell!

Well, probably not, but I feel that way! I didn't even last a full week, I feel so guilty!

Yes. I caved, I had chocolate today.

I can just hear my mom now lecturing me on how I am a bad Catholic.

Well, I already knew that.

Today I was supposed to see a new doctor. The appointment was moved to next Monday.

I was all excited about today. I am going to see a doctor at the Movement Disorders Center at Washington University. This is a new avenue for me, maybe I will get some new answers or they will find something new.

So, I was let down when the appointment was moved but at least it is only next week and not June (the head doctor is booked til then).

I am still excited, I can't wait!

Menu Planning Monday

No menus this week, Sven and I are cleaning out the fridge and pantry this week. We found a great butcher this weekend that has amazing meat.

We had some amazing filets and brisket from there. It is called Baumann's and it is on Manchester, it has been around since 1946.

We are going to get some Ground Beef to make Manwich and Hamburger Helper and some Pork Tenderloin for BBQ Pork, maybe some Chicken Breasts.

Crunchy Chicken Salad Wraps

Sven and I made these for lunch today. I got the recipe from Jennelle. We doubled the recipe so we would have some for the week for lunches. They were so good! Jennelle, Thank you for your recipes, they have all been so great!


Crunchy Chicken Salad Wraps
Servings: 4
WW POINTS: 4

• 1 1/2 cups chopped cooked chicken breast
• 1/4 cup diced cucumber
• 1/4 cup minced celery
• 2 scallions, chopped
• 1 tbsp parsley
• 1/4 cup fat-free mayonnaise
• 2 tbsp lemon juice
• 1/8 tsp ground pepper
• 4 8" fat-free flour tortillas
• 4 red leaf lettuce leaves

Combine the chicken, cucumber, celery, scallions, parsley, mayonnaise, lemon juice, and pepper in a bowl.

Warm the tortillas. Divide and layer the lettuce and chicken mixture on the tortillas. Roll up and serve.

Photos courtesy of Jennelle.

This is Bad.

I just realized that Sven and I bought CHOCOLATE Pudding the other day.

It has to be eaten so it doesn't go bad. Sven doesn't eat pudding often, but he will have to eat it, because I can't, but it is my favorite low cal desert.

Oh this is going to be hard!

I must resist!

Giving it up.

Today is Ash Wednesday. I am Catholic, but I do not go to church anymore, I don't agree with many of the teachings/practices of the church so I don't go and I am not going to go get Ashes put on my forehead.

But since this is the beginning of Lent, I am going to give something up, I kinda like that tradition.

I started thinking what would be good. Then I started thinking about how I would like to be healthier and I started thinking back to my childhood and Chocolate immediately came to mind. So I am giving up Chocolate. But, I thought I should give up something else and I thought Ice Cream.

But I got to thinking what kind of deserts can you have that are diet friendly but not ice cream or chocolate?

What about WW frozen yogurt pops? No, that is technically ice cream. What about Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwiches? Well, those are rules out just by the name.

Anyone have any ideas? Maybe I won't give up the Ice Cream part?

Menu Planning Monday

Sorry, this post is so late, I was sick with a migraine all day. I did not leave the bed. Here is what we have planned:

Monday: We were supposed to have Salsa Chicken over Rice, but since I was sick we had leftovers.
Tuesday: Chicken and Sausage Gumbo or Salsa Chicken depending on how I am feeling, it usually takes me a day to recover.
Wednesday: Lean Bean Cheesy Enchiladas
Thursday: Chicken Kiev (I really have no idea what they are called. They are those Chicken things with either Ham in them or Brocolli in them. With Rice and Corn
Friday: Crockpot Oriental Pepper Steak

Shepherd's Pie

Jennelle posted this on her blog and we made it tonight! It was really good, a definite must make again!

Shepherd's Pie
Servings: 6
WW POINTS: 6

* 2 cups chicken broth
* 1/4 tsp black pepper
* 1/2 tsp salt
* 1 tsp thyme
* 1 tbsp rosemary
* 3 tbsp all-purpose flour
* 2 medium stalks celery
* 2 medium carrots
* 1 cup onion
* 2 tsp olive oil
* 1 tbsp butter
* 1/4 cup fat-free sour cream
* 2 large potatoes
* 1 lb cooked extra-lean ground beef

Preheat oven to 400ºF.

Place potatoes in a large saucepan and pour in enough water to cover potatoes. Set pan over high heat and bring to a boil; reduce heat to medium and simmer 10 minutes, until potatoes are fork-tender. Drain potatoes, transfer to a large bowl and add sour cream and butter; mash until smooth, season to taste with salt and set aside.

Meanwhile, heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion, carrots and celery; cook until soft, about 3 minutes. Add beef and cook until browned, breaking up the meat as it cooks, about 5 minutes. Add flour, rosemary, thyme, salt and pepper; stir to coat. Add broth and bring to a simmer; simmer until mixture thickens, about 3 minutes.

Transfer beef mixture to a 9-inch, deep-dish pie plate. Spread mashed potatoes over top and using the back of a spoon, make decorative swirls over the top. Bake until potatoes are golden, about 30 minutes. Slice into 6 pieces and serve.

Chicago forecast?

Sven and I were in the car listening the radio, when the song, Welcome to the World by Kevin Rudolph, came on.

The first lines went something like "Welcome to the World, Check out the Forecast". I swear to you I heard "Welcome to the World, Chicago Forecast". Makes no sense but that is what I heard. I asked Sven what was really said and he rewinded the song (we have Sirius, Thank God for Sirius!) and indeed he did say "check out the forecast".

But I didn't care, I just kept singing my version, at first, I think it drove Sven nuts, but then it made him laugh when he realized I am crazy, as you all know this :)

V-day at the Castle

For Valentines Day, Sven and I went to White Castle. We have been going for five years, it is our tradition now. Here is the picture they took of us, I think we clean up pretty good :)




I am definitely framing this picture to mark the milestone year!

Lean Bean Cheesy Enchiladas

On my friend Ame's recommendation, Sven and I made this Monday night and it was oh so good! Definitely, gonna make this again!

HG's Lean Bean Cheesy Enchiladas – 3 points

Wanna stuff your face with a saucy smothered bean 'n cheese enchilada without a gazillion irritating calories and fat grams? Just whip up a batch of these Lean Bean Cheesy Enchiladas PRONTO!

Ingredients:
2 large corn tortillas (like Mission Super Size)
1 slice fat-free cheddar cheese, cut in half
2/3 cup enchilada sauce
1/3 cup fat-free refried beans
1/4 cup shredded fat-free cheddar cheese
1/4 cup chopped onions
1 tbsp. taco sauce
1/2 tsp. taco seasoning mix, dry
Optional toppings: fat-free sour cream, chopped scallions

Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a pan sprayed with nonstick spray, cook onions over medium heat until they begin to brown (about 2 minutes). In a small dish, combine the onions with the refried beans, taco sauce, and taco seasoning. Mix well. Spray a s mall baking dish with nonstick spray. Heat tortillas in the microwave until slightly warm. Lay the tortillas on a clean, dry surface, and then spread about 2 tbsp. of the enchilada sauce onto each one. Place one half of the cheese slice on each tortilla. Then, evenly distribute the bean mixture into the center of each tortilla. Wrap the tortillas up tightly, and place them in the baking dish seam side down. Pour the rest of the enchilada sauce over the enchiladas. Bake in the oven for about 10 minutes (until the enchiladas are hot). Remove dish from the oven, sprinkle shredded cheese over the enchiladas, and then return it to the oven for about 5 minutes (until the cheese is nice and melty). Plate those babies and, if you like, top with some of the optional ingredients. Enjoy! MAKES 2 SERVINGS

We doubled it to make four enchiladas!

Sarah asked me to.......

Sarah asked me some fun questions and here are my answers:

1. If your cats learned to talk, what would be the first thing they said to you? Now, that would be interesing! My cats have totally different personalities, one is older and laid back and loves attention. Her name is Rean. If Rean were to talk the first thing from her would be "Pet Me, Pet Me, Pet Me"! Now Tess on the other hand is younger and is still in her kitten stage and wants to play, but is a loner at the same time and in my opinion, just evil. If she were to talk the first thing she were to say would be "I'm Crazy and I'm Gonna F$$$ You Up!"

2. If you could commit one crime and get away with it, no chance of ever being caught, what would it be and why? Rob a bank, not actually the person in the bank doing the robbing, but being behind the scenes. I have wants and those wants cost money!

3. If the world as we know it was ending, and your only choices would be to become a vampire, become a vampire's food source (which wouldn't kill you or be painful) or become a mermaid, what would you choose and why? I think I would become a vampire. I mean you could live forever right and you could bite other people so they become vampires so you create endless friends! And you come out at night and get to party and sleep all day, how great would that be?

4. Tell me how you feel about pants. I love pants! It is basically all I wear. I am not a girly girl, so skirts are not my thing and I can't wear heels.

5. It irritates me that the orange is called an orange. Soooo not original. Rename it, please!
I would rename it a Globose Berry!

If you would like to play along, here are the instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions.)
3. You update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. You know, to pay-it-forward and keep this little interview game going.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions and so on and so forth. The first five ‘askers’ get the interview!

Menu Planning Monday

Sven and I are giving Menu Planning a shot this week, we shall see how it goes, this is what we are having. All are Weight Watcher friendly. We did our best to find all the right ingredients we could, we didn't get the exact ones but we did our best.

Monday - HungryGirl's Lean Bean Cheesy Enchilada
Tuesday - Garlic Herb Chicken (this is the WW Chicken from Applebees) with Weight Watchers Light Mashed Potatoes
Wednesday - Skinny Italian Meatballs over Spaghetti
Thursday - Turkey Stuffed Peppers
Friday - Shepherd's Pie
Saturday - Salsa Chicken in the Crockpot

Look good?

In Lurve With You....

I love Cows. Anyone that has been to my house knows this. Sven and my family have accepted my obsession and feed it! So, for my Birthday, Christmas, Bridal Shower, Anniversary and Valentines Day, I get something cow.

Today, was no different, this is what I received, The In Lurve With You Cow.....



I now have four Cows on Parade and I am going to start collecting them. Thank goodness Sven got me a Curio Cabinet to hold them!

To the 40 Construction Crew

On Saturdays, I like to sleep in. Could you maybe put off work until maybe 8?

They started work at 6 this morning. And during the week they start at 7. No wonder I am not sleeping.

They have been jackhammering for a month now, what can they be jackhammering? It is all dirt behind our house. It is going to be a long year.

Oh and our backyard is gone. They have ripped the trees out and they have bulldozed it.

Manwich Tater Tot Casserole

I made this last night and it was so easy to make and so good and WW friendly!

Manwich Tater Tot Casserole (6.5 points)

Ingredients

56 Tater Tots (I think I used more)
1 lb. lean ground beef
1/2 c. chopped onion
1 green pepper chopped (I used half a cup)
1 -1/2 c. frozen corn (I think I used more)
2 can (16 oz) Manwich
1 -1/2 c. RF shredded cheddar cheese

Instructions
Preheat oven to 350. Spray a 9"x13" baking dish with Pam.

Brown ground beef and onion; drain.

Stir in Manwich and heat through. Add corn.

Arrange Tater Tots in a single layer in bottom of baking dish.

Top with Manwich mixture. Sprinkle with cheese.

Bake 30-40 minutes.

This is from Facebook and I thought I would share it here:

This is kind of like the 25 things - except there are pre-decided questions and it's about you and your spouse, not just you. Come on, play along - inquiring minds want to know! ;-)Just copy this post into your own notes & change the answers!

♥ What are your middle names?
Mine is Marie
Sven is David

♥ How long have you been together?
7 years in November

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating?
2 weeks

♥ Who asked who out?
Sven asked me

♥ How old are each of you?
I'm 32 and Sven is 34

♥ Whose siblings do/ did you see the most?
Definately Sven's, my sister is in Chicago :(

♥ Do you have any children together?
Nope

♥ What about pets?
Two cats

♥ Did you go to the same school?
No

♥ Are you from the same home town?
No, we are from different states

♥ Who is the smartest?
Sven

♥ Who is the most sensitive?
Me

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Sweet Tomatoes, Qdoba, Chevy's, Lenny's Sub Shop

♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
South Carolina

♥ Who has the worst temper?
Me

♥ Who does the cooking?
Sven, I am trying to get better at cooking

♥ Who is more social
I think me

♥Who is the neat freak?
Maybe me

♥ Who is the more stubborn?
Definately me!

♥ Who wakes up earlier?
Weekdays - Sven Weekends - Me

♥ Where was your first date?
My old apartment in Chicago

♥ Who has the bigger family?
I do!

♥ Do you get flowers often?
Usually on my birthday, valentine's day

♥ How do you spend the holidays?
We rotate every year between the families

♥ Who is more jealous?
I wanna say neither, but deep down I sometimes can

♥ Who sleeps more?
Me, my condition wears me out

♥ Who eats more?
For the time bring, both of us

♥ Who does/ did the laundry?
Sven does, too hard for me to go into the basement

♥ Who’s better with the computer?
Definately Sven!

Here ya go Sarah

Sarah put this on her blog and I am going to do it, you should to.

Rules:
a. Go to the Google.
b. Type your name and the words “likes to” all in quotation marks. (”Sarah likes to”)
c. Report back on the first ten things that come up for your name.

Here are my ten items:

1. Beckie likes to dance

2. Beckie likes to read, write and cook

3. Beckie likes to be around other people

4. Beckie likes to do crafts/ scrapbooking (crafts yes, scrapbooking no)

5. Beckie likes to dance with her pink fairy wings.

6. Beckie, likes to talk. A lot! (HA! If you have actually met me I am actually pretty quiet!)

7. Beckie likes to learn new languages (I am horrible at learning new languages)

8. Beckie likes to sing A WIMBOWEEE

9. Beckie likes to fart, belch, scratch her armpits, and pretend shes..A MAN!! (That is me exactly, just ask Sven!

10. Beckie likes to watch porn with like five guys around

Goin to the Castle

Sven and I are going to White Castle for Valentine's Day! We have been going for 5 or 6 years now, I am so excited.

We originally were going to see Joel McHale at the Pagent, but they are not setting up chairs for the show, so you literally have to stand the whole time. As much as we want to see him, we aren't standing for like an hour and a half, that's crazy. For a concert, okay, but for a stand up show, no way!

So, when our plans fell threw we thought about White Castle, but I never thought that we would be able to make a reservation. I mean they start taking reservations starting Jan 3, and ond only a few locations participating, so I wasn't too hopeful, but I thought with V-day being on a Saturday might help. I called and I was surprised that there were a couple locations that still had openings left! So, we are celebrating Valentines Day at the St. Peters White Castle! Did I mention that I am excited?

Lovely Kitty Bumps

We have slipcovers on our couches. We absolutely hate them, but need to have on the couches for the time being. But as much as we hate them our cat Tess loves them. See that bump coming from under the slipcovers? That is Tess, she loves to climb under the covers and sleep under them just like her sister and being under the covers on our bed.

Survey

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Not that I know of.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Monday when I fell on my knee.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? No.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Corned Beef

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Not Yet

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Yes

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Corn Flakes

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I don't have any tie shoes

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Mint Chocolate Chip

13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyes

14. RED OR PINK? Red

15. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Anger

16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Grandpa :(

17. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? Nah

18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue Jeans (dark) and white gym shoes

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? TV

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Something Red

21. FAVORITE SMELLS? Freshly Printed Paper, Laundry

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Sven

23. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Sort of

24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Baseball

25. HAIR COLOR? Dark brown

26. EYE COLOR? Brown

27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No

28. FAVORITE FOOD? Spaghetti w/meatballs

29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy Endings

30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Grosse Pointe Blank

31. What color shirt are you wearing right now? White

32. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer!

33. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs

34. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? None

35. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Don't have a mouse

36. What did you watch on TV last night? Leverage

37. FAVORITE SOUND(S): None

38. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Neither

39. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? California

40. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I don't think so

41. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Chicago, IL

42. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE? My Halloween Party

Water, Water Everywhere! And Get the Chocolate Out!

I saw my doctor on Monday. I always feel so rushed with him. He is a great doctor but I don't think he takes the time with me. I had a doctor in Chicago that would spend an hour and a half with me if needed and answered every question and fear I had, sometimes I wish I was still seeing her.

I left feeling defeated, with no answers again, but I haven't progressed that much so that is good. Sometimes I wish I had so that they could really see that something is going on. So many times I go in there feeling like such a liar, I have this pain or that pain, but there is no reason to explain it.

I did get a new prescription that should help my abdominal pain (which my OB thinks is related to my condition but my neurologist laughed about), my headaches, my head pain and other things. So far no pain which is good, but two days of headaches (very mild ones) and with any medicine I start it is screwing up my balance and walking.

So Monday night, as I was walking to the kitchen I got up from the couch immediately lost my balance and went over the coffee table. I just lied on the floor til Sven came home. The second time, Sven was in the kitchen and we were cleaning up from dinner, I got up from the couch, steadied myself, grabbed the Saltinenes then BAM! fell on my right knee and threw those Saltines behind the TV. I was down for the count!

But also with this new medication cotton mouth is a side effect. I definately have got it, so now I am drinking water like crazy and going to the bathroom like crazy! The other thing is that you crave chocolate. I haven't gotten that craving yet, but we will have to get all the chocolate out of the house. I am not a huge chocolate person. What if we just have the WW chocolates in the house, will that make it better?

I have to vent.

I don't want people to feel sorry for me, that is not the point of doing this. I am just at my point of frustration (yet again) and I just need to get things out.

My condition is progressive and unfortunately there is no cure for it. I have been dealing with the symptoms for going on 17 years now, all while I slowly progress and get worse.

Two of the many things that has gotten worse is my walking and my balance. I cannot walk unassisted. Well, I can, but it isn't pretty, you don't know how many times I have been asked if I am drunk because "I walk funny". My five year old nephew even told me that I need to get new legs. Now, that hurts! You ask why don't you use your cane? I would LOVE to use my cane, but my motor skills are so bad and my coordination is horrible, so I can't get the movement right.

Then, there is my balance. Ah my balance, how I miss it so. I walk from the couch in the Living Room to the Kitchen, my walking fails and so does my balance and BAM! I fall. Kitchen to the Living Room, I fall. I don't go upstairs cause I might fall down the stairs, same with going downstairs. I don't run anymore, haven't since I was 22, haven't riden a bike since I was 14 maybe all because I am afraid of falling. I don't do alot of things for fear of falling.

Which leads to today. I get up from the couch in the Living Room to the Kitchen. As soon as I got up I immediately feel back to the couch. I tried again and lost my balance and THANK GOD there was a wall to grab onto because otherwise I would have gone over the TV stand and the TV would have been wrecked. Still holding onto the wall I regained my balance and then continued walking still stumbling falling into the kitchen door finally making it into the kitchen. I think this sudden onset of balance problems has to do with a couple things. 1. I take some medications and although they help, I think they also hurt 2. Recently, I have been dizzy and very disorientated, ecspecially standing, but lying down too.

Unfortunately, I have more bad days then good days. So, I have to just sit and watch TV and play on the internets. It is hard for me to even leave the house. I don't see or talk to anyone all day except for my cats or if the UPS man comes.

So, that is my vent for today. I am sure I will have another one tomorrow or another day. Thanks for listening.

This is what I have.

I have Ataxia. At least that is what the doctors are telling me. Ataxia (although past doctors thought I had Cerbal Palsy, Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinsons Disease) is my diagnosis right now, specifically Cerebellar Ataxia or more technically SpinoCerebellar Ataxia eventhough it is really a symptom, as in something is causing it along with along the other symptoms I have.

The defininition of Ataxia is:

Ataxia is not a specific disease or a diagnosis, it is just a word used to describe certain, similar, types of symptom. Ataxia will mainly involve clumsiness and loss of coordination. Ataxia may affect the fingers and hands, the arms or legs, the body, speech or eye movements - it is a description of physical problems. Ataxia symptoms may included staggered gait (unsteady walking), problems with balance, poor limb control (co-ordination), slurred speech, choking problems, irregular eye movements and loss of reflexes.

A great resource that I have been using lately is Cerebellar Ataxia Information. There is just so much information out and that page just has everything in one place, but I admit that I am still confused about my condition and still clueless about this.

Slowly but surely.

I was talking to my friend Cassie today and she asked me if I had updated my blog at all. I admitted to her that I had not, I know bad me! But, like I have said before I don't always know what to talk about and I have been kinda sick and feeling pretty icky lately. She suggested that I use this blog as a journal for my condition. What a great idea!

I am going through alot right now and I think that writing it here will be a great way for me to vent.

I do have to admit that I am still not used to the idea of putting it all out there, I am pretty private when it comes to my condition, but I think talking about it will help, it may take time.

It has been so long!

It has been so long since I have posted. I am sorry about that, alot of things have been going on and like I said in one of my first posts, I am not much of a blogger, but I do my best.

First, we made the Peanut Clusters. OMG! Can you we say addicting! They are really, really good, easy to make and makes ALOT. It made three tins. We gave one tin to our in-laws, to our mail man (hoping he would finally get our mail right, it did not work) and we kept one.

Christmas Eve was good, we spent it with Sven's family.

My family came down for New Years Eve. It was so good to see them, unfortunately, I was very sick and lost my voice for their entire visit, but we still had a great time! Unfortunately, I am still sick and Sven has caught it but this morning I think he looked better. Let's hope that continues!

So, the end of 2008 was good because of family, bad because we were sick, here's to a better 2009!